holding the center.

Every plan is different. Every plan is right. Every plan is wrong. These are some of the broad generalizations I have learned in the last few days of our new realities of distance learning and separation. While I feel very confident that our leadership team and teachers have made the right decision to provide a slow roll-out, of course, we are all craving time with one another, especially our students. As we’ve had these initial video conversations this week, I see the spark in the eyes of some of our children and hear the messages that clearly harken to introvert (I love distance learning! I can work at my own pace. I can be in my own space.) vs. extrovert (I miss my friends. I miss the lunchroom. This is not my favorite.) divide.

This has led me to think deeply about the changes in the role of school as the center of community in the last 30 years since I left elementary school. In my childhood, we loved school, but it was not the center of our world. Playing after school in the neighborhood with friends and family time were the centers of my world as an elementary child. (Now, it is important to point out that this was also a public school childhood versus an independent school childhood.) From the shifts in connectivity provided to us through digital tools and social media to the explosion of after-school programming and high-intensity athletics, what serves as the center has changed. Not for better, not for worse, just changed. This is particularly true in independent schools like mine where student’s geographical locations are dispersed throughout a large and traffic-laden metropolis. School is the center of our connectivity. School is the center of our world. 

Finding ways to hold to our center and redefine our center during this time of distance has become paramount. Creating spaces for our students to connect to teachers and each other is key, but so is redefining what our center might mean. I am finding that increased length walks with my dog (with appropriate distance from others) has helped me, a strong introvert, find peace from 6+ hours of daily video conferencing. I know some families and friends who have craved more connectivity and sought out small group virtual play dates with one another. Some families are re-committing to family games and circling ’round the dinner table. My own sister, a parent of teenagers whose sports, arts, and schooling has been canceled-with little/no distance learning plan, remarked at her increased time to spend with her teenagers; a novel concept in 2020!

No way is perfect. No way is ideal. But we are all, as Brené Brown put it in her new podcast, Unlocking Us, experiencing FFT’s (bleeping first times, or frustrating first times for the non-cursers) in this time of unparalleled uncertainty. Patience, grace, flexibility, and hope are critical character qualities, always, but especially right now. Anger and fear are totally normal and need constructive, healthy outlets. Schools and families are working very to determine and hold their center amid chaos. And if we hear no other message, let this be the one: the center will hold, perhaps even stronger, with so many stories to tell.

Onward, my friends.